The other day I was watching the UVA game on TV and my wife was at my computer getting something straightened out for me, when I got a message from a friend of mine that said we need to have a beer together next week at the game. I said ok. Then he asked if I could tell the difference between Bud Light and Miller Lite. I said when you drink them by mouth yes, but when you plunge them in no. He was worried I had switched from Bud. So, to show him I hadn’t switched. I had my wife take a picture of me plunging a beer in and put it on Facebook for him.
At one time, years ago, I had a Bud beer tap in my house and I would come home at night and have a cold one to wind down at the end of the day. After my cancer treatment, I got rid of my tap as the beer and the carbonation was too hard on my throat. From 2002 until last year, I had had a few beers but that was all. When I got my feeding tube, I was curious to see how beer would affect me because I was plunging it down instead of drinking it by mouth. I told my wife I thought I try a beer on Saturday and she said, “No, you’re not.” This surprised me since she is usually very supportive of me. She continued by saying, “Do it during office hours in case something happens so we need to go to the doctor’s office.” So, on Wednesday, after I had finished cutting grass, I pumped in a bottle of water and I decided to see what would happen if I tried a beer. Well I am so use to just pumping stuff in one syringe right after another, this is what I did. Without thinking, I pumped in six ounces of beer in 15 seconds. Well that was half of a twelve ounce can. I said, “This is not good.” I sat for a while before I pumped the rest of the beer in. That went down fine, but I am telling you, that it hits you quicker than if you drink it through your mouth.
We have friends who we go out to eat with all the time and sometimes, he says let’s have a beer, so I do. I remember the first time I pumped a beer in public. I told the waitress I wanted a Bud Light, a glass and a glass of water. When she brought it to me, I pulled my tube out laid it on my lap on a towel that I had brought from home, and then took my plunger and sucked up two ounces of beer and pushed it down slowly. My friend looked at me and gave me a thumb up. Well after a while I noticed a mature woman staring at me, giving me the evil eye. I told my friend and I just stared back at her. My wife caught her staring and gave her the stink eye. That woman looked at me as if I was doing something wrong. Well the irony in this is that she was out with her husband and they both were on their phones and didn’t even talk to each other. She had a big cast on her wrist and he had a cast on his foot. My wife said don’t worry about that woman because half the population is walking around with plastic parts. The waitress looked at me and smiled. I do get take out when we go out and bring it home for blending.
I went to a gathering of our friends and that was the first time that any of them had seen me since I had my stent and feeding tube put in. My friend has a Miller Lite tap so I pulled a beer off and showed them what I did. They were all amazed. I went through two beers like that and it was enough for me. Well some of our friends came late and came over to me and said, “I hear you are plunging beer.” I said, “Yes, but I don’t have any more.” So, I told them, “Stick your cup down here.” Then I drew a plunger full out of their cup and pumped it down. The end result is that I felt good again and like one of the boys even though I do things different and they don’t treat me any different either.
If you decide to plunge beer, I want to tell you, when you put your plunger in the beer, pull it back very slowly because if you don’t, you will get a lot of foam. It is the same as when you pour a beer in a glass too fast or a soft drink in a glass with ice in it. It will foam up and give you a lot of air and not much beer. Then push the beer in slowly, as if you were sipping it.
During the holidays, I would always have a Wild Turkey and Egg Nog. So, the other day I told my wife to get some Egg Nog. Well I made a short drink and sat and watched a Christmas movie on the Hallmark Channel, but I knew to pump it in slow. Man, was it good.
I am not a big drinker. I just wanted to know if I could do things like this and what would happen. Now I know. When I think about doing something like this, I must remember that my stomach has a capacity limit. So if it comes down to choosing food or drink, I would rather have the food.
Blind Blender man